When I'm writing this, it is one month after my judicial ceremony and I am also going to have my graduation this September. Life after college huh. Well, honestly I also do not know what, don't know how, and yeah, figuring out thing has never been that easy, or is it basically easy but I just have not figure out mine yet?
I was taking dual degree program in my university, and I also taking part-time job, thus, I barely have time for myself in term of self-awareness, self-development, which recently I think that those are important. I went to campus mostly from 9.a.m to 9.p.m, coming to the classes, doing never-ending assignment, and also do my part-time job. Even on the weekend I still spent my time on assignment. And as my online courses schedule is different with the courses of offline university, I almost never have "school break holiday" for 3 months, the longest holiday I have was 2 weeks which I also did internship so I can say I have never had time for myself, especially for the last 2 years of my college life. And the day I finished my thesis defense and my online course, I have made the decision that I am going to take a break for about 3 months, for my mental healing, and also for me to get to know myself again. I do not tell it to anyone about this, because not every human has different needs, and for me personally, my inner peace, me knowing my self better than anyone, and me feeling complete of myself is important, so basically I won't give a sht about what others might think about my decision. My thesis defense was on July 10, 2019, and today is September 5, 2019. So, from 3 months break, I still have one month, but I am feeling better. Here, I would like to share what I have been doing and help me feel better about myself.
1. Be more in the present.
Be in the moment of whatever you are doing. When I am eating, I try not to check my phone and consciously enjoying every bite. When I eat, I focus on the food. When I talk with anyone, I put myself on the conversation, I look into their eyes. Or when I walk, I enjoy the walk and not in rush with my phone. For me, the phone is such an addiction and when I'm away from my phone for a while, I have so many things to concern on. Also, before bed, I take 5 to 10 mins of silent and be aware of my breath, I am fully aware of my inhale and exhale activity. Try it, it helps.
2. Give yourself time.
Is this just how the world is currently working, like everything needs to be instant, everything is in rush, everyone is successful now, and when is my turn?. The more I know people personally, they all have their own struggle, which might sound nothing comparing to ours, or vice versa. Its kinnda hard to believe and implement it in our life that everyone has their own path, their own route, because we have to remember that our destination is completely different. In some point we all have the general purpose like to be happy, or succesful or whatever it is you name it, but indeed those things are certainly in different form. So, give yourself time. You dont have to achieve everything right now.
3. Get a life.
This is the word that mostly stated by my friends everytime someone is breaking up with their girlfriend or boyfriend. Get a life dude. Again, everything is easier said that done. Personally, start to get our life together is indeed important. We realize who are we, where are we right now, where do we want to go. For me, thinking about the answer of those stuff really hit me hard, I'm 24, but again I think I'm nowhere as I wanted to be, or I never wanted to be anywhere, I just follow whatever life leads me, which now I realize I could do so much better if only I know where to go.
I never regret the choice I made to went to the college, even though it was not that great at all. I mean now I cannot remember clearly what I have learnt in University, but the way I think, they way I communicate, it was shaped by people I met in Uni or the Uni environment itself. Even though my university was not as great as at the movie, but I am grateful I got the chance to learn, and fulfilling myself with information that not everyone could experience it.
I also plan to go to school again, I love learning, I know learning not only can be done in school, but I love how I meet people that push me to learn, get new perspective, new experience, new story.
This is it for now. Thank you everyone.
Have a good day!
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