It takes two years for me to finally write here again, lately I have been thinking too much and I absolutely have a lot in my mind, but I just dont give myself time to express it in words just I like I always did. Today is Idul Adha Celebration but I just stay in my room, not going anywhere, not even trying to get food because all food store are closed and I am starving right now, with no money in my hand. So, I just ate indomie, drink a cup of coffee and write here.
First, lets talk about the simple thing that drives people crazy and sometimes it becomes the hardest question to answer and the deepest talk could take. I can remember that I wanted to be stewardess so that I can go to many places and the work which I thought was not that hard. Then I change my dream to be a teacher or lecture, because again I think its an easy work to do (in fact its not that easy), maybe its because both of my parents were teachers. Again, I dont know how dreams change, is it because we know we cant reach it because we cannot afford it? I dont think its cliche that many people give up their dreams because they dont have money, or good connection that will ease their pathways to achieve their dreams. However, there are thousands quote that never give up on your dream and say that nothing impossible, into some points I agree with that, that dont give up, just dont, but do you have the guarantee that you'll be happy once you reach your dream? Like you work your ass off and gave your everything to achieve your dreams, and once you reach it, do you feel happy? are you satisfied? is it really worth your sacrifice?. For instance I used to dream to be stewardess, and once I have achieved it, will I be happy? The answer is I never know. I might be happy and satisfied, I might also regret it and think that its not what I want. But the thing is, isn't it nice to be on the stage where you always want to be? doing the things that you've always wanted to do, the things that will make your heart racing so fast and the moment you know you are doing great and enjoy every single time you have?. Let me test my confidence to write what I actually want in my life up till now.
1. I dont want to go for job that requires me to go from 7-5,especially once I get married. Currently I am studying in Jakarta, I have been here for two years, and I see almost every day people are going to their job early in the morning, and go back in the afternoon, or even I still see many people are still in the street at 9 PM, and I cant imagine what time they will be at their home and they have to get ready for tomorrow's work, honestly I dont want to work like that, but If it happens to me, I will enjoy it, ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CANNOT CONTROL.
2. I have always wanted to be a movie or drama script writer, imagining that what I write or my written imagination are being played on tv makes my heart skip a bit. I love watching movie and drama and I love how it is made, the story, the way people acting, and I just enjoy it. I found it amazing when you can get paid by doing the things that you enjoy, things that will never make you tired, and I feel that I never get tired by writing, instead I feel refresh and my mind in better condition every time I write what I feel or what I think in my mind, I get relieved sense and of course it makes me happy.
3. I dont know if it is a dream or what, but I love traveling so much, so I wish after finishing my study, I will have much time to travel especially with my family, my mom, my dad, and my brothers, I love them so much. Actually, I love traveling is because I love to eat, going to different places will give you different taste, along with different experience, different scenery and different insight, and I wish that I could travel for free while I am sharing everything that I can share, and give something useful to the people or every place that I visit.'
This was written on September 01, 2017. Time flies. and this is why I write, so I can remember my own self and see how far I've grown.
See you!
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